


When A Wish Stays A Wish (And When Us Couldn't)

by lunavgii



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Light Angst, M/M, Sad Ending, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 06:31:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17862143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunavgii/pseuds/lunavgii
Summary: please remember that love doesn't always win.i'm sorry it has to be this way."I know."





	When A Wish Stays A Wish (And When Us Couldn't)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! 
> 
> Soooo  
> it's my first time using ao3 and publishing my fanfic. I hope you like it~.  
> I'm not that good at coming up with ideas and writing it down, but I tried, since I really like doing that. And English is also not my first language. I'm sorry if this isn't as good as you were hoping for. 
> 
> Without further ado, please enjoy! ^^

Baekhyun sighed. 

It has been a year and five months since they decided to be lovers. 

Secret lovers, to be exact. 

It pleased him for a while, before realizing that it will be a disaster. Having scandals of their two members dating is quite a deal. Moreover, it's a same-sex relationship. The fans wouldn't like that. 

Of course, they shipped and did stupid things, like writing fanfics, fanarts, and all those things, but for them to accept the reality that their idols are really dating? 

That's a tough one. 

But there's nothing Baekhyun can do about that. Just like when the rumors of his relationship with Taeyeon blew up, he couldn't do shit about it.

His mind wandered far, leaving him cold on his bed. 

Chanyeol is everything he loves.

Well, maybe sometimes he could be annoying, but that didn't stop Baekhyun from loving him at all. In fact, his longing increased everyday.

He likes the way those eyes lit up when he laughed. He likes the way they became warm when they locked with Baekhyun's. The way that guy snores and stealing his kisses, how beautiful that man is when he just woke up, or even when he just slept through the night. 

But he couldn't say that. He wasn't supposed to feel that. 

They weren't supposed to be like this. 

Baekhyun groaned. He wished he could erase this guy out of his mind. 

But he can't. Sad, isn't it?

Just when he was about to call Chanyeol, his phone rang first. He was surprised, but quickly he picked up his noisy phone with a dumb smile. 

"Baekhyun-ah," Chanyeol started. 

"Yes?" he rose from his comfort position, now sitting with anticipation.

"I bought the food, but it seems that I won't make it in time. Will it be okay?"

Well, to be honest, he expected Chanyeol to tell him that he's close, and he should prepare the movie, or to set up the table. But oh well. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'll just take a shower then. What happened anyway?" he played with the sheet. 

"There were too many people who recognized me. I should've been there minutes ago, ain't I?" Baekhyun can practically heard Chanyeol smiled. 

He stood up and walked to the window. The sun has already set. It looked pretty. 

It'd be more beautiful if only he could watch it with Chanyeol. 

"Yeah, but no worries. I can wait, you know?" Baekhyun smiled. 

"Of course you can. My bus is here. I see you soon, hm? I love you." there was no doubt in Chanyeol's voice. It made Baekhyun weak, it always did. 

The sound of a bus was indeed growing louder. 

"I love you too, you know that, don't you? Be careful." Baekhyun replied. But somehow, it felt like he was convincing himself more than telling it. 

"I know. I love you more." was the thing he heard before Chanyeol hung up.

\---

It took about 15 minutes before the knockings finally appeared. Baekhyun quickly put on his shirt, and opened the door to greet his giant. 

The said giant wasn't exactly patient either. When the door swung open, the petite one was greeted with a tight hug, as if they were long separated. 

"Woah, woah, what, you miss me already? Well that's lame, Chanyeol-ah," Baekhyun smiled a little. 

"I missed youu~" Chanyeol sing-songed. "It felt like a year, you know?" he continued with a kiss on Baekhyun's forehead.

"You smell nice, did you really shower?" Chanyeol commented while following his lover to sit on the floor. He opened the plastic bag to reveal two serves of jajangmyeon. 

"Of course I did, what, you think I won't?" Baekhyun put on his pouting face. It received a quiet giggle from Chanyeol. 

"Thought you'd wait for me." Chanyeol pet his lover's head. 

They continued their night in a comfortable situation. They watched two movies, which wasn't surprising, while cuddling and being stupidly in love. 

In the middle of the second movie, Baekhyun was already scrolling through his twitter. He was comfortable in Chanyeol's arms, so he didn't intend to move a muscle.

"Hey, you're heavy." slurred Chanyeol.

"Deal with it. I'm feeling comfortable." Baekhyun answered, didn't bat an eye and kept scrolling.

They continued like that for a couple of minutes, when suddenly something caught Baekhyun's attention. 

"What would you do if one of your idols is a part of LGBTQ+ community? Answer below!" was what the twitter said. 

He opened the comment section, and to no surprise, there were many answers. 

Some are supportive, like 'I'd always be with them no matter what', 'love is just love, no matter the gender', 'If they're happy, then I'm happy', and many more kind words. 

But some are.. the reality. 

The thing is, in Korea, there were not that many supporters about this subject. Sexuality is still considered as a taboo. LGBTQ+ is still considered as a sin by many people.

So they put down the people who supported it, they stomped on those who are parts of it.

'I'll be so disgusted kkk'  
'I'll stop stanning immediately'  
'Wtf kkk I'll pretend I don't know them'  
'Isn't that a sin? I'll hope they'll realize that'

Baekhyun went silent. His mind went silent. He logged out of his account and turned on to Chanyeol.

"Hm? Are you sleepy?" Chanyeol asked. There was concern in his voice. 

Baekhyun only nodded. He didn't want to make Chanyeol more worried.

"I'm a little bit more tired everyday. Guess I really am old, huh." he tried cracking a joke, earning a grin by Chanyeol. 

"You're not that old. But yeah, let's just rest. It's late already." Chanyeol said, followed by the sound of the TV being turned off.

Chanyeol then picked up Baekhyun, and brought him to the bed. He kissed his lips. It tasted just like the jajangmyeon they just ate together.

"I'm gonna clean myself, okay?" Chanyeol said, running his hand through Baekhyun's hair. Baekhyun only answered with a small "Okay." before Chanyeol disappeared.

\---

It was half past two in the morning when Baekhyun opened his eyes. He fell asleep without realizing it. He turned to his right to find Chanyeol sleeping peacefully.

He smiled at the younger.

He noticed how Chanyeol slept with his mouth slightly opened. He drooled too. Baekhyun chuckled to himself. He really was grateful to have Chanyeol by his side. 

For one moment, he'd like to think that Chanyeol would be with him forever. He'd like to think that everyday, when he wakes up, he'll find Chanyeol by his side, with his messy hair and awkward position.

For a moment, he'd like to believe that. 

Slowly, he caressed Chanyeol's cheek. Chanyeol was his for more than a year already, yet he still prayed it can last longer. 

He wanted it to. 

He wanted this relationship more than he ever imagined.

He slowly leaned in, and kissed Chanyeol's head. He pressed their foreheads together, and stayed like that when he talked to the sleeping man he loved so. 

"Are you dreaming of me?" he asked stupidly. 

He remembered that one night when Chanyeol woke up, sweating because he had a nightmare that Baekhyun was being burned. Chanyeol literally can't stop crying because he didn't want to lose him.

He chuckled, again. 

He then recalled their first kiss, when Chanyeol kissed him on his lips, with the "because you are being so noisy, I have to shut you up" followed.

Their first date, their first night sleeping together. Their fights and jealousy.

And in all of those moments, Baekhyun knew he would never stop loving Chanyeol.

It was such a shame that the world hates love.

"Did we commit a sin? All I did was loving you." Baekhyun said. 

Of course there were no replies. He couldn't find any answer either.

Baekhyun closed his eyes, with tears rolling down his cheeks, he whispered a thank you to the now awake Chanyeol.

Baekhyun fell asleep with the silent, not knowing that his giant, finally understood what was on his mind. 

\---

The next morning, they woke up pretending that they were fine.

Baekhyun still laughed, and Chanyeol still teased. 

They were still a cute pair, being all lovey-dovey on a Sunday morning. 

They spent the day together, doing all sorts of things with their members, and being happy. 

They wanted to cherish their moments, 'cause after all, they knew it will end sooner or later. 

They were being like that for so the rest of the month. Until one day, Baekhyun finally, finally said what was on his mind. 

"Chanyeol-ah," Baekhyun called, making the boy he talked to turn his head to Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun took a deep breath, putting on his strong facade before telling him what he thought will be the best.

"I think we should end it here." Baekhyun said, looking at Chanyeol right at his eyes. 

There was a silent. 

Chanyeol just smiled, then sat beside him, it took a pretty long time before a sentence rolled out of his mouth. 

"I know. Let's end it here." he answered.

Baekhyun almost broke. He kind of wished Chanyeol would asked him why, maybe even begged Baekhyun to stay, or promising something empty like 'we'll find the way out' kind of thing, he didn't expect Chanyeol to answer that. 

He guessed they have matured enough to see that this won't work. 

That they won't work, no matter how hard they tried. 

"Look, I--" Baekhyun tried to explain, but for what. 

They already knew this is coming. 

"Baekhyun, I know what's on your mind. It will be hard for us, we're idols, we're being watched, and with the LGBT condition, I really understand that. I know I love you, but for now, love didn't win. This is not a fairytale, love won't always win, will it?" Chanyeol spoke with quivering voice, but yet can still maintained his calm. 

But it broke Baekhyun. He broke down in tears when Chanyeol succeeded in holding him close. He wet his lover's favorite shirt, but yet for this time, he wouldn't hear Chanyeol complained about that. 

And it broke him in more ways than he ever expected.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Baekhyun asked. He didn't know why he asked, but he wanted to. Just for the last time. 

Chanyeol looked at him in his eyes, he quietly answered. "I know. And I love you more, Baekhyun."

Just as the sun set can be seen from their window, they shared their last kiss together.

It's not like fireworks, or sweet and tingling, it's more of a nostalgic. The 'I'm gonna miss you' kind of kiss. 

A kiss that has been intertwined with their memories, with their longings and knowledge that this will be their last kiss as lovers.

But with their kiss ended, so was their relationship. 

So were their tears and emotions. It suddenly stilled. Everything stopped for a moment.

Yet the next thing Baekhyun saw was Chanyeol's back, as he heard his ex steps to the door, and then vanished.

Baekhyun knew Chanyeol won't be back for a long, long time.

But he only sat still. Even when the door closed, he didn't move. He didn't find any energy in him to scream, or to cry anymore. 

He only felt empty. So Baekhyun sadly sighed.

If only it would last a little bit longer.

If only..

**Author's Note:**

> How was that? :v  
> please leave your advices and comments below with polite words, i'm a sensitive bundle of cheese :'v
> 
> twt : - // IG : @bangnuexo


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